Friday, April 30, 2010

Burned is the house


"And I want to play hide-and-seek and give you my clothes and tell you I love your shoes and sit on the steps while you take a bath and massage your neck and kiss your face and hold your hand and go for a walk and not mind when you eat my food and meet you at Rudy's and talk about the day or talk about your day and and laugh at your paranoia and give you tapes you don't listen to and watch great films and watch terrible films and complain about the radio and take pictures of you when you're sleeping and get up to fetch you coffee and bagels and Danish and go to Florent and drink coffee at midnight and have you steal my sweatshirts and never be able to find it and tell you about the the programme I saw the night before and take you to the eye hospital and not laugh at your jokes and want you in the morning but let you sleep in for a while and kiss your back and stroke your skin and tell you how much I love your hair your eyes your lips your neck your tits your arse your...

and sit on the steps sitting till your neighbour comes home and sit on the steps till you come home and worry when you're late and be amazed when you're early and give you sunflowers and go to your party and dance and be sorry when I'm wrong and happy when you forgive me and look at your photos and wish I'd known you forever and hear your voice in my ear and feel your skin on my skin and get scared when you're angry and your eye has gone red and the other eye blue and your hair to the left and your face and tell you you're gorgeous and hug you when you're anxious and hold you when you hurt and want you when I smell you and offend you when I touch you and whimper when I'm next to you and smother you in the night and get cold when you take the blanket and hot when you don't and melt when you smile and dissolve when you laugh and not understand how you think I'm rejecting you when I'm not rejecting you and wonder how you could think I'd ever reject you and wonder who you are but i accept you anyway and tell you about the tree angel enchanted forest boy who flew across the ocean because he loved you and write poems for you and wonder why you don't believe me and get rid of the roaches and buy you presents you don't want and take them away again and ask you to marry me and you say no again but keep on asking because though you think I don't mean it I do always have from the first time I asked you and wander the city thinking it's empty without you and want want you want and think I'm losing myself but know I'm safe with you and tell you the worst of me and try to give you the best of me because you don't deserve any less and answer your questions when I'd rather not and tell you the truth when I really dont' want to and try to be honest because I know you know everything I would hate for other people to know about me, and you for some reason you still love me. I know you prefer it and think it's all over but hang on in for just ten more minutes before you throw me out of your life and forget who I am and try to get closer to you because it's a beautiful learning to know you and well worth the effort and speak German to you badly and have sex with you at three in the morning and somehow somehow somehow communicate some of the overwhelming undying overpowering unconditional all-encompassing heart-enriching mind-expanding on-going never-ending love I have for you."

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