Tuesday, January 27, 2009

She took him to the lake

In between class today I went to B&N and picked up two book gems.

Hi I love you already.

I know, I know. I'm sort of humiliated that I would even glance at this book seriously but I skimmed it and thought I'd give it a try. Well I was embarrassed buying it too but at least it was paired with my Criminal of Poverty book that has a little more substace....SO I GET the book in my hands and start reading. My mind was blown the HUGE dating mistakes i'm guilty of were thrown in my face and I honestly can say i'm a changed woman. No more wondering. If a guy i'm into is making me wonder, then he probably is just not that into me. I then go on to read all night through my STATISTICS class, on the train, and finsih it at home tonight. Here are some key quotes:

"So if a guy you're dating doesn't call when he says he's going to, why should that be such a big deal? Because you should be dating a man who's at least as good as his word"

"No answer IS your answer"

"Don't waste the pretty"

And just a general idea...that men will go after what they want, intensely, and if he's not going after it that hard, he's just not that into you.


I took my first boxing class. I'm hooked. Punching guys and doing pushups on medicine balls and being light on your toes...amazing. Hey, I'm not having sex, I'm not being very aggressive at all lately, I need SOMETHIGN to get out the energy besides baking cupcakes and learning about social stereotypes/prisons/psychology experiments and being on time for everything.

I'm seriously considerig buying my own pair of gloves. Thought about baby pink but then i saw some with zebra stripes sooo.... i dunno.

i'm addicted to iced tea and my ipod. I submitted another poem for my poetry workshop class. I have to read it out loud. Here it is. I acutally like it.

Dusty Martini

The Vodka on the table
smells like the sour part of apple skin
and the sweet of gasoline

bracelets are like rings of bone
dipping up and down your arm
as you speak with your hands

my fondest memories of my grandmother
are dirty pearls
looking like old teeth in the soap dish

she is a porcelain log in such a dead forest

I sleep really hard lately.
I don't want to go to work

here's some of the song i'm listening to right now....

I'm awake
It was a half bad dream
That was way too long
My whole life it seemed
That someone started digging me up
Turned my headstone into dust

The sun was swallowed by the trees
The night was here for good
You pulled my hand and my head up
You put oxygen into my blood
You walked me through the gates like we were visitors for the day
You laid me down in the back seat
And you drove till I woke up to hear you say

You never lie but it's no fun to tell the truth
I guess I never loved but I will see what I can do
Got so much life to waste that I would take my days and hand them to you

Friday, January 23, 2009

Here I am, So do this with me.

A few things...

Every semester these are things that annoy me about the start of new classes:

-When teachers ALWAYS say "there are no stupid questions" (thanks i'm 12?)
-there's no clocks in the rooms WTF.
-Professors love wasting your time with shitty anecdotes...WHY?

I started school, overview of classes;

Statistics: easy A, my professor is 24 and looks like willsmiith/barack mix and we have already thrown sexual inuendos at eachother.

Sex and Nation Building: Very dynamic group of kids in my class, the professor has the "mouth of a sailor" and she treats us like real adults. Hopefully this is my favorite class. She basically began class with "I'm gonna say things like vagina and penis..."

Experimental Psych II : This is just me getting a green light from the government to test human subjects with my study (which is really shaping up by the way). Also, the professor for this class is the one that adopted me to her own personal publishable studies (and I get paid to help her).

Public Speaking:
My professor legit looks like a clown and everyone is a freshman because it's a required course that i've put off until almost my senior year. So that means it'll be a breeze.

Poetry for Enjoyment: This professor loves me and if I can get over the stuffy poet black dye job urban outfitters girls then i'll be fine. I almost barfed on the first day when one proceeded to say "I think this poem is about EmOtIoN"

In other news. For the first complete moment, I believe in Obama. After reading this...


this is incredibly important to me (obviously) due to the whole fact that i'm obsessed with prison reform in general...but this is EXTRA close to home because while working on my Honors thesis I read tons and tons about secret CIA torture prisons and i'm so glad that he's without question bringing these ridiculous places to extinction.

AS FOR my personal life I'm kinda cranky/tired/lazy. I feel like this week I've been going through the motions and I never even LOOK nice anymore. I wake up, throw on jordans and some tshirt, no bra, and really dirty jeans everyday. I live off of the organic homemade soups at my work and cupcakes and tea. Tomorrow I travel on a train to Long Island to see Title Fight because it'll feel really good to get to another part of the city and see some kids and go to a GOOD show. I recently saw Pissed Jeans two blocks from my house the other night after Alan texted me and told me Fucked up was playing and then I looked up the show and read that Pissed Jeans was also playing...sooooo blah blah I go and bring a sandwich and a water, everyone was so drunk and then I ran into my ex boyfriend and it was surprisingly painless and pleasant. After pissed jeans I bounced because I was tired as usual. Why do I miss my mom so much lately? I want a tropical vacation. I've been listening to alot of Buddy Holly lately and Keyshia Cole. Also some Ryan Adams to walk to the train early in the morning when it's still dark before I open the cafe.

Tell me something fucking good

Thursday, January 22, 2009


There was a time when the sun
Gave it's life to the trees
And the air it smelled sweeter
For the honey and the bees

The ocean rolled salty
And wild and free
The fruit swelled and ripened
And burst with their seeds

But what starts with desire
Can turn into need
The chest gets all tight
Like it's got some disease

What burns in the fire
Just ends up as coals
What floats on the water
Can sink like a stone

Now i want to believe
Every word that you say

I want you to need me
To not go away

Have trust in the nighttime
And faith in the day
To walk on the water
Be never afraid

Can you bear it upon you?
My love has gone under

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Monday, January 19, 2009

i'm not bored at all you can call me when you want to call.

I think you're great.

"goodnight pea"

my mom is perfect
alkaline trio is still the best fix
soft pretzels
my bed in brooklyn
hanging on the couch with kathleen and kim
pancakes. always.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

somethign of substance.

Just a few of my current favorite things:

and Mirah's "Advisory Committee" on repeat.

I saw Slumdog Millionaire, I suggest you do the same...It was fucking amazing.
Revolutionary Road was eh, good acting, good time piece, wish there was more sex. The guy that plays the insane dude is an amazing actor. Kate Winslet is flawless.

Saturday, January 10, 2009


Did I mention that I'm really happy?

Monday, January 5, 2009

There is no such thing as a bad coincidence

Today after work I stood in line at the Post Office in Time's Square so that I could send a teeny package to a boy in wb. Looking at the address made me laugh a little bit to myself, am I really circling back and dating someone from my home town again? Regardless, I keep tellinng myself it'll probably be nothing, but talks on the phone and texts to wake me up saying good morning and the pictures of hearts and the nicest things he says...I can't help but maybe hope this is the start of somethign different, something I didn't see coming, something that could change things.

who knows what will happen? nobody.

the weirdest part is like 4 days before I started involving myself with him I was talking to Kathleen on the couch and I said "I feel like the next person I'm serious with will be the last person I'd expect it to be" crazzzaaaaay.

My room is a mess. I'm always tired. Working mad hours over break.

Friday, January 2, 2009

floyd the barber

I always get myself into trouble. This break was so fucking good. Just got back from chelsea galleries with stevie. nye party was a hit, I love new york. I love 2009. I hate how effortless this is. I got an awesome new tshirt. First something a boy has bought me that i could wear in about 3.5 years. Time to go eat dinner. I can't think. guh.