So the mornings are usually hard for me. I'm ususally up when it is still dark and I'm usually bummed on something or other.
On my IPOD i have an mp3 that my ex boyfriend Kevin made me, it's a recording of him telling me that he loves me for one of our zillions of anniversaries. Now this mp3 is whatever, I actually forgot it was even on my ipod. Until...the one morning I was particularly down in the dumps and looking out the window as the train went over the bridge into manhattan and I absolutely never use shuffle because it's really annoying I think, so my IPOD was on shuffle this morning and i'm looking out the window and then I suddenly hear his voice saying "hey nik, it's me, just telling you I love you so much, our two year anniversary" It's like my ipod knew I needed to hear that or something. I didn't cry or want to die or even miss him that much. I was just glad to hear a little artifact from how my life used to be and the only person I've ever known inside-out.
I want that feeling again one day.
I'm fed up of trying.
I think I'll give up for awhile. Maybe you do only fall in love once. True love is maybe just a one time thing and too good to happen again.
23 hours ago