Tuesday, July 15, 2008

WARNING: venting.

Dear Dad,

I'd like to thank you for making me the person I am today. I'd like to thank you for all of the fucking good advice, all of the times you were fucking late so now I'm the type of person that's obsessed with being on time because I know how fucking disrespectful it is. Thanks for going to jail because it made me realize how much I really do want to work with making prisons more rehabilitative, thanks ESPECIALLY for hitting that woman with your car and killing her on mothers day because it made me more interested in the welfare of children without parental care because I went to highschool with one of those kids and my father is responsible for the death of his fucking mother. Thanks for making my mother scoop me out of bed in the middle of the night in a Little Mermaid nightgown to get into a freezing car in February to sleep at god know's who's house because you are fucking horrible. I love seeing my mother cry. Thanks for forgetting at least 16 of my 20 birthdays, thanks for all of the lies. Thanks for making my mother a single mother, thanks for welfare, and food stamps, thanks for flea bites on my ankles, thanks for always driving drunk, thanks for learning nothing from losing everything because now I've learned to appreciate everything I have created for myself. Thanks for letting me cry alone abandoning me when I needed you most because now I can stand on my two feet and embrace pain as a part of my life. Thanks for teaching me that people are completely capable of loving you and then spitting in your face the next day. thanks most of all for teaching me the exact type of man that I never want to love or marry or even look in the eye. Thank you, with all of my fucking heart.

-Your daughter,(the former little girl that used to play tic-tac-toe with you at every diner)



moonbeameyes said...

youre one of the strongest women i know girl

i love you



its amazing how you can write that

so inspiring

Jay skrilla said...

go on nikki, go on

sigarah-wa-kass said...

I wish you knew how much I could relate to this. I miss you, I love you, and I hope you're doing well in New York.