Tuesday, May 4, 2010

when you feel embarrassed, I'll be your pride.

So I completely cannot walk. Xrays, 7 hours waiting to see a doctor, ace bandages, painkillers, anti-inflamatory pills, etc...my knee just will not work for at least a few days. My thesis was approved though so I'm graduating in exactly a week. On the day I'm supposed to walk across the stage at Radio City Music Hall me and John are gonna walk around the city together "like we did when we first met" he said. haha.

I've never had a love like this. Its so mature and it's a real partnership. I called John crying yesterday because I totally fell apart at school and could not stand or walk on my own and he's the only person I don't feel like I'm inconveniencing when I call him crying. In my past relationships I was always loved, but I was always third priority or constantly expected to be strong because well, I normally am. John has this way of being sympathetic without being condescending and I can feel how he actually considers my pain his own pain and I am so lucky that in the midst of such horrible luck with my body (i need to do so much running around this week for finals and graduating) that I have someone that can say all the right things at exactly the right times.

tHANKGOd for kathleen basically carrying me home today. Crying in public is not something that I am really cool with doing. Now it looks like I'm home bound for at least two days until I can hopefully walk. Do i really need to talk about how awful, deplorable, ineffective, and tedious the "free" health care system is? Because as I was holding myself up with the registration counter at the clinic and they told me to come back in 8 hours. Tears pouring down my face because my foot had gone numb and the pain from my knee was shooting into my shin. 8 hours later a doctor saw me. whatver, nothing new.

A lil pitbull dog was walking by me while i was limping/crying trying to get to the train and he LICKED my knee for at least three minutes. cutest thing ever getting love from him. His owner was freaked out I think that I was just like sobbing/22 yrs old/holding a cane...

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