Sunday, October 4, 2009

It's not where you're at, It's where you're going to be.

Im went home to wb. John took me camping, time moves so slow in the woods. It rained hard at night but the tent was amazing and we fell asleep all wrapped up only the sound of rain. I had tons of dreams and john carved this fork things from wood and we cooked hot dogs and we were on the edge of the lake. My rain boots came in handy and living in new york city has made me forget how incredibly breathtaking it is to look at tons of trees turn colors. In two days I take the most important test in my life. I'm not too optimistic. I don't know what the future looks like but for once in my life I really don't mind. 

I've been thinking a lot about comfort zones lately. What is the threshold of comfort or familiarity? How long does it take you to familiarize yourself with something or someone so much that it merits entry into your proverbial "zone of comfort"?? Can you have a comfort zone in a place you've never been? Is a comfort zone some mental, self-induced illusion? Maybe they are logical, real, tangible etc...  Personally, I feel my comfort zone is an odd one. My comfort zone is discomfort. I feel that when things are too comfortable I sit on edge or I find myself constantly waiting for something that I cannot predict or control to come and laugh at me for getting too comfortable. As usual, I don't think I'm making much sense. I know that I've always been drawn towards creating a stable, routine life for myself since I left home because secretly I've always wanted the life where you come home every day to the same house when you're growing up and there isn't ever a question as to if one or both of your parents will be living there. I want that sure life, that life that works without question. I know I atleast want to give that to my children, and since I've never had that life it will be so wonderful to finally experience it, even if I'm grown. 

On a way cooler note, IT'S FUCKING GORGEOUS OUTSIDE HOLY CRAP.!!!@#%^*(

what shuld i dew wit muh hairs?

1 comment:

danielle said...

leave your hair! it's beautiful!