Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Jaycox luvz taylor swifffffft

As I sit here in the computer lab at my school I have never missed summer so much in my life. I'm in the middle of the most underestimated stressor I never anticipated: graduate school. Applying to gradute school is on par with the feeling I get when I get a phone call in the middle of the night from my mom that makes me think someone is dead, all of the stress of moving times thirty-five, or the pain of getting my foot tattooed but for about a week straight. My head cant even be fully involved in my senior year of college because i'm obsessing with my personal statement, the fact that I have to take/pay for sooo many standardized tests, not to mention study for them, also, i need to research each schools particular psych professors in order to mention their specific projects in my application and how I would be a good match for their individual research teams, oh and this will all cost me around $12oo when everything is said and done. All of this while being a full time student and working part time. I've been so mean to so many people, exhausted, flakey, and just plain bitter about this whole situation. I hate Pace University right now because I am ready to leave. I am totally ready for this next part of my life to begin, I just hate the preparation/anticipation/having no fucking clue, part of this.

I'll have a real update about the joys of my classes, which are really pretty much enjoyable, and an update on every other aspect of my life that has completely fallen away from my thoughts...

Oh, while there is so much craziness, one part of my life has completely fallen into place, and that is when it comes to the man in my life. I think it's so funny how the time I find someone I actually want to hang out with every minute is when I'm most swamped with all this bullshit. It's somethign reallly unexpected, that came from no where, but I'm lucky to have him. I want to scan the picture he drew of me inside a monter's belly but I think it's only funny to us.

My birthday is next month. I have no plans.

Time to make flashcards for GRE words.
I only talk to like 5 people, in the world. that's it.
Don't get me wrong, I love academia, LOVE it. I just hate that I have NO IDEA where i'll be next year...I could be in the same apartment as i am now, i could be in philly living in a one bedroom near jeppy, I could be living in Harlem by columbia, OR i could get rejected by every school and have no idea what i'm doing....
Sometimes i do just fantasize about quitting my job and just hanging out and like reading a bunch of books for fun butttttt then i'd hate myself.
I got a cheap deal on a haircut at a really fancy place, I have no idea what I should do with my hair, it's freakishly long. But with the haircut I also get a facial and a massage!!!! Hellz yahhhh

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