my sleeve is virtually half done.
I have an extreme inner battle going on between my past and my future.
so much has changed in the last three years. most of it makes me happy, some makes me feel saddest.
I've felt a little restless this week, not like myself really.
I'm going towards my senior year of college, this is my last year to fuck around. real world, i will be joining you soon. ive been sort of homesick lately. sean is wonderful and i have a few best friends and they mean the world to me but i've had this pit in my stomach. I always thought graduating highschool, going to collge, getting my first apartment, completely supporting myself financially...all those mile stones were me "growing up" but nope. nothing takes the cake like this, i'm going to graduate college and that means i need to get a real job, marry a dude, and pop out kids. it really does. like don't get me wrong i'm pumped to have a real job and stop makign money serving coffee and cupcakes, but like this is probably my last year of not wearing heels to work, the year after next will be grad school, which means i wont have time to work because i'll be getting hours working at mental hospitals, working in research labs, working on getting published work etc, a.k.a. having a career. that's insane to me. i'm in my twenties. i'm a grown woman. how the fuck did time fly by?
tell me what ya think.
Johnny Cash is still perfect, Kathleen mentioned something about going to the botanical gardens on tuesday. so siked. also: suggest good reads for the summer. I like reading mostly non-fiction so nothing harry potter esq please.