and like a ghost i'll be gone

Home is so nice for once. I got such thoughtful gifts. My mom is amazing. I baught matching sterling silver rings for me my sister and my mom, we're all married to eachother, it's been like that since day one. no boyz for us.
Then ed, stevie, and brandon picked me up and we just fucked around and then walked around on the black diamond bridge and i almost barfed bc the ice was floating on the water below us and moving really fast and making me dizzy, then we went to eds and drank soda out of wine glasses and played games and watched tee vee and it was really funny. I cant stop consuming foods. The first night i was home i got shamelessly drunk with lindsey and brendan and other people, it was funny, we played kings cup and It was perfect for my first night back at home. I've had so many crazy Italian lasagna christmas dinners i'm so full i'm going to explode.

I'm gonna ball out for the next month on my fat christmas bonus, philly tonight and tomorrow to see the cro MAGZ with lil and thank god i'm going in a car with brandon and ed and not the shitty over priced three hour bus. I have straight a's this semester and a 4.0 average, i'm waiting for one grade though so we'll see. I got a vintage GUCCI crewneck it's sick. i'm rambling. It's cold as fuck. Beyonce and Mariah Carey are god. Christmas is over, thank fuck thank fuck thank fuck.

things always move in a circle and come back to you when you least expect it.
people i thought would always be there are absent, and the people i thought were off long ago were never really all that gone.




anyways. the best gift was the sour patch watermelons and dunkin donuts gift cards and the nice walks i had with certain people and sharing a queen sized bed with my sister everynight and talking about things before bed.

I used to fall asleep so empty, now i just ignore it and fall asleep and let that feeling just become apart of life. fighting feelings doesnt work.

i'm gonna go eat treats. peace. happy birfday jesus

ps. brandon gave me Metamorphosis to read and I like it. I'm also reading this new psych book that came out about insecurity, PRETTY INTERESTIN'.